Self-Acceptance Quiz | Cornwall Counseling

My bottom line

“I am as I am and I am acceptable to myself under all circumstances. That is not debatable. It is my bottom line.”

I created this quiz to help you locate where that statement feels available to you and where it becomes difficult to practice. It organizes thoughts, feelings, and behaviors for reflection or conversation. It is not a diagnosis, a validated scientific test, or a rating of you as a person. No result can make you more or less acceptable to yourself.

Self-esteem and self-acceptance are different ideas in this quiz. Self-esteem commonly asks for a rating: How good am I? How do I compare with others or with an ideal? My use of self-acceptance does not put a weight, measure, grade, or value on the whole person. I am as I am means that I can describe myself and my circumstances without declaring that I am good or bad as a whole. I can evaluate an action, its consequences, and what to do next; my acceptability to myself is not part of that evaluation.

Self-acceptance does not mean approving every behavior, ignoring harm, or giving up on change. You can accept yourself without debate and still apologize, repair, learn, and protect others. The questions use REBT’s distinction between rating a behavior and rating your entire self (Ellis, n.d.).

Think about the past month. Select the answer that best describes what you could actually practice, especially on difficult days. There are no right or wrong answers. Answers and results stay in this browser; they are not sent to Cornwall Counseling.

0 Rarely or never1 Occasionally2 Sometimes3 Often4 Almost always

Skip a question if it does not fit your experience. A skipped question is excluded from scoring.

I do not rate my whole self

Describe actions, circumstances, and feelings without placing the person on a scale.

1. When I make a mistake, I can say “I made a mistake” without deciding “I am a mistake.”

For example: I miss a deadline, apologize, and make a new plan without calling my whole self a failure.

2. I can use “I am as I am” to describe myself today without treating today as my final form.

For example: I notice that I am anxious at a party and decide what support I need without declaring that anxiety is my identity.

3. My acceptability to myself does not rise or fall with a productive day.

For example: After a day when little gets done, I can rest and plan tomorrow without deciding I no longer deserve respect.

4. I can describe a quality I dislike without deciding I am good or bad as a whole.

For example: I notice I interrupt people and work on listening without concluding that I am a bad person.

5. When an unwanted thought appears, I do not treat its mere presence as proof of who I am.

For example: An angry thought crosses my mind; I choose not to act on it and avoid labeling myself cruel for having the thought.

6. I can disagree with a harsh judgment of myself even when I feel ashamed.

For example: After an awkward conversation, I feel shame and remind myself that one exchange does not define my whole self.